Har Mar SuperstarYou Can Feel Me

If you look like an Estonian plumber who has accidentally wandered onto the set of a porn film because you really are there to fix the plumbing then you’d generally have a lot of things for which to be thankful. But still, the nature of the gratitude contained in the opening salvo of Har Mar Superstar’s ‘You Can Feel Me’ is little short of surprising. Rather than the expected ‘thanks for not drowning me at birth’, ‘thanks for trying, Mr Hair Replacement Treatment Doctor’, or ‘thanks for having a fat fetish, Ms Dirty Kings Cross Prostitute’, Har Mar is actually thanking his fans for buying his albums. It would seem that no matter how many people are writing him off as a bad joke, the sweaty little sex-dwarf is shifting the records.

And once the nausea induced by the cover shots has worn off, it’s not hard to see why. Fuck me if the man hasn’t taken sleazy ass R’n’B and made a record that actually worth hearing. Full of fat and funky synth riffs, ‘Power Lunch’ is already one of the best singles you’ll hear all year and it’s ‘deeper, deeper, I can feel your beeper’ chorus is worthy of providing the soundtrack to anyone’s cheap hot-spot holiday philandering this summer. Alternatively, if you’re planning to spend your hard-earned time off work lazing around the house in your underwear, you can always turn to ‘We Could Be Heavy’ for all your lecherous needs. Stick it on the stereo and pump up the speakers loud enough for the neighbours to hear (‘who went and made a woman, out of the sweet little girl next door, I think it’s time we got together because we never got to mesh before’).

In fact, Har Mar seems to have a tune, and the time, for any eventuality; and he’s determined to get you in the mood. Not only is ‘You Can Feel Me’ as contagious as the STDs you can’t help but suspect that Har Mar has but it’s probably the most reliable aphrodisiac that you can buy without a prescription. Ask my girlfriend, or the woman next door. Just one week of ‘You Can Feel Me’ has turned me into a sex-maniac. So, if you’re still not taking Har Mar seriously, the joke’s on you.